when i was a child i used to think teens were grown ups and when i was a teen i thought college students were grown ups and now that im a college student im just like what the hell is a grown up anymore
Now that I’m older than college age I’ve concluded that grown ups are a myth.
I came out as a queer during football practice when my coach was like “son, you’re having trouble throwing straight” and I replied “I’m also having trouble being straight”. It got very quiet and then coach just shook his head and said “throw the damn ball, Cooper”
i have been laughing for 3 million years
The human brain is an amazing organ. It functions 24 hours a day from the day we are born and only stops when we are taking an exam or fall in love.
I’M ACTUALLY A REALLY NICE PERSON IM JUST USED TO BEING WALKED ALL OVER AND DISRESPECTED SO SOMETIMES I COME OFF AS MEAN BUT I JUST CANT LET PEOPLE TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME AND I HAD TO GROW UP REALLY FAST OK BUT I PROMISE I HAVE A GOOD HEART AND GOOD INTENTIONS AND I DONT WANT TO EVER HURT PEOPLE’S FEELINGS BUT SOMETIMES I JSUT HAVE TO HAVE THE UPPER HAND AND MAKE SURE I DONT GET HURT IM SORR YI LOVE EVERYONE
HOW DO PEOPLE FALL ASLEEP SO FAST I DON’T UNDERSTAND I HAVE TO CREATE AND ACT OUT A WHOLE FUCKING MOVIE LENGTH STORY IN MY HEAD AND THEN CONTEMPLATE THE MEANING OF LIFE BEFORE I EVEN FEEL TIRED AND THIS BITCH STARTS SNORING IN TWO MINUTES
Okay no. Fucking no. You think your sandwich is cute with peanut butter and jelly hearts, fucker? Well you’ll change your mind once you put it together and try to eat it. First you’ll get a mouthful of just bread and disappointment, then when you take another bite your mouth will be assaulted by copious the amounts of sticky peanut butter and sugary jelly and there won’t be enough bread to save you from it. A sandwich like that is what failure tastes like. The pb and j may be shaped like hearts but there’s no love in that sandwich. It’s about balance. Life needs balance, and so does your fucking sandwich. You disgust me. Don’t talk to me until you know how to make a proper sandwich.
what the fuck is wrong with you people